“Unspoken”

I was thinking earlier today about the times in my life when I knew I had a friend in my corner and how these moments have been incredibly significant in my life.

One of the most difficult times in my life was in the middle of my battle with infertility. My husband and I had been trying for a few years with medical help and still no children. We had finally made the decision to change doctors and that in itself was a leap of faith. We knew we were on the right path but never the less we were weary. Our first attempt with a new doctor and we got pregnant. We were overjoyed but nervous as we had been down this road before. We told a select few of the pregnancy and kept them posted on test results and outlook so that they could continue to pray. Unfortunately, we found ourselves grasping at whatever we could as unfavorable test results rolled in and another miscarriage seemed inevitable. I struggled to even go to a church service because I could not bear to see the faces of the friends that knew I had yet another miscarriage with no end in sight. How would I answer their well meaning statements of encouragement? How do I keep from crying uncontrollably? How do I keep the hope when everything looks and feels contrary to what I hope for?

Somehow I managed to attend a church service. In the midst of my crisis on this particular Sunday morning I found myself met with a friendship I will cherish forever. An experience that changed me, encouraged me, comforted me and even felt the pain with me. I went into church a little late to avoid any conversation before service and I sat near the back of the little church I go to. After the worship was over and people milled around to greet one another I simply sat down unnoticed as planned. The gesture of friendship that took place at this point is one of the significant moments in my life. Our friend simply sat in the row in front of me and turned around to reach for my hand, took hold of my hand and gave the most heartfelt expression I have ever seen. No words were spoken, no hug that would have caused me to burst into tears, no super spiritual insight, just a hand to hold and a sincere look that said everything I needed to hear. I think of this often as it somehow made the way for me to get past that day, past the feelings of discouragement and hopelessness. This friendship was something I could not live without.

One thing that I have learned, when it seems like nothing is going right, is that what you need can be given without a word ever being spoken. This unspoken moment of friendship fueled me with the strength I needed to keep going. We got pregnant the next round of treatment and I gave birth to my beautiful twins later that year. With deepest gratitude, thank you to our friend that left it unspoken!