“Two Minute Forgiveness”

My two year old twins are the source of most of my entertainment, joy and even some life lessons. In our home we have been doing "time outs" for bad behavior. The famous time out rule is one minute for every year of age. Thus, whenever my kids misbehave they get two minutes in the time out corner. The time out technique has actually proven to be quite effective. Usually, my daughter gets put on time out for biting and my son gets put on time out for pushing or taking a toy from his sister, he is bigger and can easily overpower her. Surprisingly both of my children stay in the time out corner until the two minute timer beeps. We wanted to teach our children to say they were sorry at the end of the time out but found it difficult to teach the words so we have taught them to hug each other, or the one they hurt, at the end of their time out to say they are sorry. Now that we have perfected our response to misbehavior we have found some interesting insights.

One insight is the fact that as soon as the timer beeps they immediately go hug the other and simply continue playing like they are best friends. There is no holding a grudge or staying upset. What is at hand, their toys and play time, is more important than holding a grudge. We need to see what is at hand for us as believer's and realize that what is at hand is more important than holding a grudge or staying upset. We need to put into practice some two minute forgiveness and focus on the business at hand.

Another insight is that we often have to make sure the one that is not in time out does not go and try to play with the one who is in time out. It is amazing to see when my daughter is on time out for biting, that her brother will come over and try to give her a toy while she is on time out. The interactions seem to say, "I know you are sorry and I forgive you, let's just go back to playing together". The bite mark still fresh on his little arm and it is more important to forgive. No matter the scenario both of my children seem to forgive so quickly and go back to playing happily.

What if we were like this as adults? As Christians? What if we experienced an offense but then quickly forgave and quickly went back to interacting as if nothing was amiss? What if we implemented two minute forgiveness and got on with the more important things at stake in the Christian life? How different would our Christian lives be if we really forgave this quickly and this completely? We need to hurry up and deal with the misbehavior done to us with a two minute time out, quickly hug and say you're sorry and go back to the more important things at hand!

“Unspoken”

I was thinking earlier today about the times in my life when I knew I had a friend in my corner and how these moments have been incredibly significant in my life.

One of the most difficult times in my life was in the middle of my battle with infertility. My husband and I had been trying for a few years with medical help and still no children. We had finally made the decision to change doctors and that in itself was a leap of faith. We knew we were on the right path but never the less we were weary. Our first attempt with a new doctor and we got pregnant. We were overjoyed but nervous as we had been down this road before. We told a select few of the pregnancy and kept them posted on test results and outlook so that they could continue to pray. Unfortunately, we found ourselves grasping at whatever we could as unfavorable test results rolled in and another miscarriage seemed inevitable. I struggled to even go to a church service because I could not bear to see the faces of the friends that knew I had yet another miscarriage with no end in sight. How would I answer their well meaning statements of encouragement? How do I keep from crying uncontrollably? How do I keep the hope when everything looks and feels contrary to what I hope for?

Somehow I managed to attend a church service. In the midst of my crisis on this particular Sunday morning I found myself met with a friendship I will cherish forever. An experience that changed me, encouraged me, comforted me and even felt the pain with me. I went into church a little late to avoid any conversation before service and I sat near the back of the little church I go to. After the worship was over and people milled around to greet one another I simply sat down unnoticed as planned. The gesture of friendship that took place at this point is one of the significant moments in my life. Our friend simply sat in the row in front of me and turned around to reach for my hand, took hold of my hand and gave the most heartfelt expression I have ever seen. No words were spoken, no hug that would have caused me to burst into tears, no super spiritual insight, just a hand to hold and a sincere look that said everything I needed to hear. I think of this often as it somehow made the way for me to get past that day, past the feelings of discouragement and hopelessness. This friendship was something I could not live without.

One thing that I have learned, when it seems like nothing is going right, is that what you need can be given without a word ever being spoken. This unspoken moment of friendship fueled me with the strength I needed to keep going. We got pregnant the next round of treatment and I gave birth to my beautiful twins later that year. With deepest gratitude, thank you to our friend that left it unspoken!

“Value of Friendship”

Recently I was part of putting together an event for the Ladies Ministry at my church with the theme being "Pampered for a Purpose". I had the privilege of sharing the Word on the topic and it has been stirring in me ever since. A portion of the theme touched on how it is important to pamper ourselves emotionally and what that looked like in relation to our friendships.

It is my strong belief that we all need good relationships! Good relationships in our lives nurture, encourage, support, etc. and who does not need that? I was looking at Acts 2:42-47, this scripture mentions great things that most people long to see God do in our lives and in our churches. Right before the list of amazing things that took place the passage first mentions that they devoted themselves to fellowship – that is friendships were developed and cultivated! I have read this scripture many times and often pray for these amazing things to be seen more regularly but this was the first time I looked at it and realized that the things I long to see in and through God's people are hinged on the relationships we have with each other!

I began to look for Biblical examples of good relationships. What does a good relationship look like? I remembered Jonathon and David (1 Samuel 20:42) who swore friendship to future generations; this brings a whole new meaning to a "best friend". What is more interesting is when you look at who Jonathon is in relation to David. Jonathon was the son of King Saul, the man who was trying to kill David to prevent him from taking his throne. In spite of the drama that surrounded them, their friendship did not waiver - they did not allow the significant external influences to sway their commitment to one another. How many times do the petty external things ruin friendships?

I reflected on a couple more examples of Biblical friendships, which of course allowed me to see something more. I thought of Paul and Timothy. Paul often mentions Timothy in his writings as being with him and we see later the great things that Timothy does for God as well. I began to think that Paul could not do all that he did without Timothy's input, prayers, support, encouragement, or simple companionship! In turn, Timothy would not have been able to do what he did without his friendship to Paul. Another example like this is Esther and Mordecai. Esther had to rely on the good relationship and trust she had with her Uncle Mordecai in order to fulfill what she needed to and Mordecai would not have been placed where he was without Esther.

Good relationships make all the difference. There is something about the friendships we keep that impact our lives more than we think! We need to surround ourselves with the right people, to cultivate the Godly relationships that will make all the difference in our lives and in theirs!

 

 

“Vision from Battle”

For some reason television shows seem to help me with analogies that shed light on real life situations. Maybe it is a simple way for God to show me something because I can relate to it or understand it better or maybe I just watch strange shows but either way it brings me to a place of theological thinking at times. My most recent thought process was about the spiritual battles we face in life as believers and the issue of the necessities for these battles. One necessity of battle is the fact that we come out on the other side of the battle seeing differently, we have gained vision that we did not have before.

One of my favorite shows, "Alias", has an episode where Sydney (the main character) has to go to a fancy resort to find a resident there that is known to aid in the changing of identities for fugitives. Sydney goes to the island and finds the guy in question, figures out where his room is and goes there to get the new identity of the fugitive she is ultimately hunting. While Sydney is in the room a bodyguard walks in and finds her looking around. Of course a battle occurs, Sydney has to try and get through this battle so that she can continue on her mission. The battle Sydney is now in with the bodyguard seems like a huge inconvenience when the fighting causes her to crash through the wall. The bodyguard is now down for the count and what Sydney sees through the now, open wall is a surgery room where a new identity could be created and conveniently on a computer screen is the new look and identity of the person she was looking for, thus the answer to her search. Interestingly, if Sydney did not fight the battle with the bodyguard she never would have broken through the wall and would have never found what she needed to see.

Nobody likes to be in a battle! Battles are hugely inconvenient and always feel like they are in the way of what we are trying to do. However, the necessity is undeniable and the necessity of the vision we get from battle is huge! Sometimes there is no other way to see what we need to see without fighting a battle. We knock things over in battle, break through walls, and we uncover things that would otherwise remain hidden. Look back at battles that you have faced and think about what you see now that you never saw before that battle? Maybe you see friends that you did not know you had, or maybe you see strength in yourself that you did not know existed, or maybe you see a God who is faithful when you did not know that before… There is new vision obtained on the other side of those inconvenient but very necessary battles in our lives. Continue to fight the good fight and know that new vision comes from the battle!